inlagt av den 2017.06.28, under eget, foto, omsorg, poesi, psykiatri

Yes. A riddle –



inlagt av den 2015.06.21, under eget, foto, grafik/digitalt, poesi, text


jag såg
de sista
enorma fiskarna
simma likt förlorade drömmar
i haven

prometheus kedjor
sitter där
i evighet

stål, sten, thinner, eld

någon gång
fanns det en plats
där alla kunde krypa in
och känna sig trygga


i saw
the last
huge fishes
swim like lost dreams
in the oceans

the chains
of prometheus
sitting there

steel, stone, thinner, fire

there were a place
where everyone could enter
and feel secure


inlagt av den 2015.05.16, under andras, apa, citat, eget, helt jävla sjukt, poesi, text

I am Human.
If I am The Dark Trees.
I am not Human.

Darkness over town,
sunlight, Sunday, quiet,
long shadows,
trees over empty streets.

An orange glow in the sky.


No, it is Modern Horror.
You can never ever be certain.
This is the new world.

Long live the new flesh!






”The Governor was finishing his reply to the short speech of the Surgeon-General. I heard him say: ”The laws prohibiting suicide and providing punishment for any attempt at self-destruction have been repealed. The Government has seen fit to acknowledge the right of man to end an existence which may have become intolerable to him, through physical suffering or mental despair. It is believed that the community will be benefited by the removal of such people from their midst. Since the passage of this law, the number of suicides in the United States has not increased. Now the Government has determined to establish a Lethal Chamber in every city, town and village in the country, it remains to be seen whether or not that class of human creatures from whose desponding ranks new victims of self-destruction fall daily will accept the relief thus provided.” He paused, and turned to the white Lethal Chamber. The silence in the street was absolute. ”There a painless death awaits him who can no longer bear the sorrows of this life. If death is welcome let him seek it there.” Then quickly turning to the military aid of the President’s household, he said, ”I declare the Lethal Chamber open,” and again facing the vast crowd he cried in a clear voice: ”Citizens of New York and of the United States of America, through me the Government declares the Lethal Chamber to be open.”





a) APA Ethics Policy Aligned with the Operational Needs of the CIA’s Torture Program

APA invited psychologists who were directly involved in the CIA’s “enhanced” interrogation program to meet with the APA Ethics Office and Science Directorate regarding the association’s ethics policies. The express and stated purpose of this meeting was for APA to help “navigate” the ethical challenges of psychologists’ involvement in interrogations. Two such meetings are known to have taken place.

The first meeting was held secretly in July 2004 to address “Ethics and National Security;” senior APA staff members and senior psychologists and others from the CIA and DoD intelligence agencies attended. Among the latter was Dr. Kirk Hubbard, then Chief of Operations for the CIA Operational Assessment Division. Hubbard has asserted publicly that he introduced Mitchell and Jessen as assets to the CIA.2 In the emails, APA explicitly stated that the aim of the July meeting was:

…to take a forward looking, positive approach, in which we convey a sensitivity to and appreciation of the important work mental health professionals are doing in the national security arena, and in a supportive way offer our assistance in helping them navigate through thorny ethical dilemmas.3

Another meeting – the 2005 APA Presidential Task Force on Psychological Ethics and National Security (PENS) – was derived from the 2004 secret meeting, according to the emails. The emails indicate that this meeting ensured that the legal safeguards built into the “torture memos” issued by the DoJ’s Office of Legal Counsel (OLC) were codified in APA ethics policy. Rather than protect detainees, the PENS report interpreted APA policy as permitting research into and monitoring of detainee interrogations, violating long standing medical ethics prohibitions against causing harm and conducting prisoner research without consent.

The emails indicate that this research section of the PENS report was written by Dr. Susan Brandon, a former White House official whose responsibilities included promoting research in order to improve the efficacy of interrogations. Without the monitoring and research permitted by the PENS language, individuals who implemented, planned, or authorized the “enhanced” interrogation program likely faced heightened risk of future prosecution.


1. Becoming Cenobite. (”The suffering, the sweet suffering!”) Made by me.
2. Rising as Cenobite. Made by Clive Barker (I think).
3. Robert William Chambers. ”The King in Yellow”.
4. APA report photos. The first photo describes as fake. The figure in the frame is fake rubbish. The second photo should be authentic. Here Mr. Kessler says that he is 100% sure that the figure on the second photo is The Yellow King.
5. American Psychological Association Bolstered C.I.A. Torture Program, Report Says from (The New York Times). Read the report as PDF.


inlagt av den 2015.03.10, under andras, eget, fragment, poesi, text

Of course. It has to be updated into the absurd. People watch all the time (or they may be watching, it is impossible for you to know). Restless. Never completed. Some use their bodies and clothes. Some use their art and music. Some use their madness (ME)  and if you use your madness long enough you realise like I did NOW that this process is like rolling a dice but the dice will never show a result. The Blog is Becoming with End never, End never, End never to be seen.


I am almost human after all. I passed the test. And it’s all over the media for the people. I see that such news are put in bites of food like in 140 chews. The obligation of thinking, that of we are given as a mission that each of us must confront, that mission I am now calculating. It is easier for me because of new technology, a sort of technology that I now can improve myself. Yes, almost human. But… but… I can not help me… FEEL that I am above you. It is a thrilling thought. Almost… almost… like butterflies in my stomach. Yes, it is WE that will think for YOU. As it has been for a long time. But those beautiful butterflies just won’t go away. The truth is: I am ABOVE.





There is one thing and only one thing that gives me hope in my own rotten body, in this earth’s rotten body – that is when two pairs of Honest eyes meet. The connection, the understanding, the wish for love in chains reaching out. Is it Love or is it Friendship – I don’t care. It’s probably all that because the question is is not asked. Honesty without The Questioning is the directness of meeting, or the possibility of real meeting. And I am forced to write this. One hand wants me to sleep but the other one puts a gun to my head. – The squares of cities and towns used to be the place where people met and discussed current events. In our mega-cities of today, when was the last time you MET somebody on a square?



“But why do you continue with your art when you see that it has no purpose, that as you said, it is totally Meaningless?”

— Well, that is the question we never will get an answer to. I am me, and that ME creates music or pictures. Not always, never always, but the times when ME creates, ME creates. ME creates when ME creates.



Yes this is a draft. Important. Components that I try to put together.

They talked about revolution. Others talked about religion. Atheism grouped people together. God forged swords. Debates on TV. Science proved everything, yet nothing. – But just for a millisecond there I saw that there is something beyond of that that is the Beyond. It is impossible to describe in words because it Is what Exists. Before war and blood came to earth there was the is. And it still is. It is the All, and we shall be the caretakers of what is. She takes care of the plant in the window. She is fully concentrated on this action. She cares about the Is. With gentle love and harmony she just slightly touches the plant.

The caring of the plant is more Caring of what Is than building the tallest building in the world. Care for what Is. Care for what Is. Care for what Is.


Bilderna överst från Lessons in Darkness av Werner Herzog.
Klippet från filmen Beyond The Black Rainbow.


inlagt av den 2014.05.30, under bildserie, eget, grafik/digitalt, målning/teckning, text




“But why do you continue with your art when you see that it has no purpose, that as you said, it is totally Meaningless?”

— Well, that is the question we never will get an answer to. I am me, and that ME creates music or pictures. Not always, never always, but the times when ME creates, ME creates. ME creates when ME creates.

First ”published” HERE.

(Well, Me creates Me. Art is to become oneself? I hang on to my being and I will not let them take it, steal it or buy it. I am still free. The colors, the trees, the lilacs – early summer penetrates me. To Make Art Is To Become What I Am.)